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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
are we are we team captains now?
is there like a town hall style meeting
that we have and everybody sort of
um volunteers
do we have to have that open?
not the council weekend.
i guess it's probably a good idea to have a
council meeting and
without me telling you
who needs to go where you need to figure out
who
wants to go where.
because if you tell us
it'll be a wrinkle in time
and it won't work out right?
possibly.
i think i get this whole time stuff you guys.
now you got it.
alright.
welcome to
Dumbgeons and Dragons.
i'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
he, him, also with me today is Amy More.
yeah, i'm here.
i'm so excited.
i, uh, she, her,
am playing Sullivan Slyte,
he, him, and
Thea Amastasia,
she, her.
and Tom Laird.
yeah, that's me, he, him.
i am playing, uh, i think,
who goes by he, him.
Tulgar, who's also a he, him.
and possibly Flint, who's also a he, him.
and Carla Maxted.
she, her, playing
Glim, she, her.
Yenble, she, her.
and i think that's it, but let's just see what Russ throws at us.
who knows really though.
who knows what's gonna happen.
yeah, i just hedged my bets and went for all three.
there's lots of characters coming up.
we're in the mix and match
episodes where we can just be whoever we want to be
and we're having a good time, i love it.
sheesh, should i have, like, thrown Nighthunter in there?
yeah, well i did put it on the screen, but i realized
that you can't read that.
while it's awfully small.
i can't change zoom fonts.
yeah, it could also be Elia.
yeah.
who knows, let's just see what happens.
we're just here to have a good time.
and where we also have a good time
is over on Patreon,
Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast
and one of those good times is our game times
where we are privileged to be able to play games
around the table with some of our patrons.
that's right.
the virtual table.
and it is so much fun.
it is a blast.
i don't know when this episode comes out
because i didn't look that far ahead, but it's probably
in the new year.
am i gonna say march?
could be march. i think it's january.
the game we played
most recently as far as recording this,
which is november,
we had just a blast.
gabe and jess were there,
and carla and i were playing,
and all patrons can go listen to them,
but if you want to be around the table,
you gotta sign up for that tier.
it was like a quiet place
with a weird cult energy
and some fun props
that come out part way through.
all the fun props
are always on our patrons side.
we gotta up our game.
our patrons are so much more creative.
we've said it since day one.
they all have better ideas than we do.
because the way it works is
one of us runs the game, and i'm saying one of us,
but it's literally never me.
one of these three great people runs the game,
and then at least one other plays,
and then whatever patrons are there play,
and it gets pretty weird.
we've been building the world together
a lot more in the discord,
because there's a discord that you've got
access to, to talk about it,
and i didn't even get to play in this last one,
did i give my two cents into what the world should be like?
i sure did.
really hard steered everybody.
you were the first one to do it, so really molded it.
i was like, giant magpies, it's gotta be.
it's all i'm gonna leave you with.
i mean it came out two months ago.
it's true.
oh i'm just saying though, right?
yeah, we're world building together.
are you gonna spoil footloose now?
no dancing.
they're in a town that they can't dance in.
oh god.
we'll also get an episode dedicated to you,
like today's patron, not Kavin bacon.
oh.
am i ready face?
am i ready face?
am i ready for anything?
am i ready or not, here i come?
yeah.
another one?
it seems like you have one more in the chamber.
oh!
am i ready!
to love you!
thanks.
you're welcome.
felt good.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
come join us over there.
and have some fun.
and now, fuck it, let's play!
the birds are chirping, twiddley dee,
the sun is shining bright.
there's a skip in opal's step,
a pep in his pep,
and no one knows why,
as he runs towards
ilia night hunter's hut.
ilia nimbly avoiding all of the traps outside
and gives a soft rap at the door.
hey.
hey.
we are not home.
you can't say that you're not home
if you're saying you're not home.
sorry, there's nobody here.
no, but
i'm here on official business.
ilia, official business.
what is this?
it seems like a euphemism
he'd use for something that we don't want to know about.
look, you know we have so many visitors here
and they-
did you not get the coloring books we sent you?
what? you sent me coloring books?
those weren't just litter pads?
you pee on coloring books?
and there was
there was some sudoku pages
in there and word searches
they were-
he'd take pee on gift we give him
this is why we never do anything nice for him.
this is why we don't answer the door.
anyway, they just wanted to see-
did he get us a present?
they just wanted to see if you wanted to come and join this council thing that's happening
with the god that's here, you know, the bahama guy
and just like, uh
apparently they're talking about some things-
night hunter rips the door open.
hey! well if that's all i had to say-
why didn't you say so?
well i tried and then you didn't answer the door
and then you said i'm not here
and then you said leave a message at the peep
you are never sent when there's something important going on
how would we know?
who would send me? we've been the only really people here
for the last little while
it's very hard being the only really people here
they don't trust me
they just come right to you anyways
and that is why we were confused you were here
okay, let us go
we cut ahead to the
bright cliffs town council
where everyone of
any importance has gathered
muklim and sully
can be seen anxiously
waiting bahamut's arrival
yimbolthea and
talgir are
propping Grancis up in a corner
uh, no
weekend at bernie's style
yeah, i like that a lot so we're gonna keep that in
uh, they're propping Grancis up
weekend at bernie's style
because he has yet to wake up
from his deep dark coma
after having escaped the abyss
Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast, find out how he escaped
as opal, ilia, and night hunter
enter
and take their seats
would they go sit up at
their seats at the front that opal has
made for them, the thrones
or would they- the small ones?
yeah. is it um
like
general admission, no seating except for
those three seats or is there like a council
table? yeah, are we talking
boardroom here? it's too many people for a council table
right? like it's like- yeah, like no it's like
it's a standing room only?
tree stumps, uh
yeah, just like rows of tree stumps
for seats. bales of hay, et cetera, et cetera
like we're on an island
we are indoors, yes?
you are in- yeah, absolutely
because we described it as a lavish chamber
that has pictures of opal all along
the side. and now with hay bales
and stumps. hay bales and tree stumps
yeah, well because there were no chairs in there before
it was just a long red carpet through a
big empty room. right. then
no, knight hunter absolutely is not
sitting at the throne
yeah, and in fact is there
were they also up on like a dais?
yes. well I think we
maybe um, I don't want
to speak for knight hunter but I feel like Iliya and knight hunter
might just go move those chairs down off
the dais just like to- so as
not to encourage opal to go
sit in the main big throne seat
yep, absolutely. yeah. hey what are we
doing? what?
I mean we should be-
somebody's gotta be in charge. I don't know
we've talked about this how maybe
it shouldn't necessarily
be
you and a large gathering of people
however we have town council
they named the town after
me though. that is
not- all these new people
we want to
just make everyone feel welcome
like we're a
gathering of equals
we got it, we got it
problem solving together
problem solving together
got it, got it, got it, got it
let's just have a seat, mingle, mingle
hey what are you three doing? oh we're just propping
this guy up here
I don't know why
why aren't we setting him down?
we didn't have a seat for him I don't think
I think-
I'm sorry, um
do you work here? yeah, no
I'm opal at bright cliffs, town's bright cliffs
yeah, sorry
Elia 900 said I should come just mingle
and make sure everybody was okay
you could
help move a
hay bale
for a friend? oh yeah sure
sure sure sure sure sure
night hunter
what?
can you open- not open
scoot over one
of the hay bales there
scoot
oh it's okay I'll be back
I'll be back with one
don't worry don't worry
so they named the town after this guy?
that cannot be correct
why don't we just drag Grancis this way
like let's just- yes
we just move him over
sit him down
he can kinda lean on me
he's fine
Grancis?
for a second there I thought he was waking up
no no
maybe bestie sleeps through this
oh okay yeah yeah
I gave him a little pat on the head
we get him kind of like
you know leaning maybe
back to back with tall gear so he can sit
up sort of and tall gear
just can, yeah
rather than us holding him
I was gonna build hay bale
wall around him but that's better
just gonna wall him in?
no big deal
so who's in charge here is this gonna
like is someone gonna be like
start or like
go you know it's been a while since I've been to a meeting
well I mean I
if I had to guess I'd say the
tall one and the
angel looking one they're probably the ones
in charge they do seem to have some
authority in Calumport
when there was a big
meeting they
would have sound
an instrument
is anyone here
with an instrument
like a horn of some sort
did somebody say an instrument?
yes like a horn
someone would sound a horn
everyone would come to attention
it looks like he's
playing something
this is not the kind of
music that I meant but it is
is that a
it's keytar
do you mean
guitar? no it's key
look it's got keys and it's like
we fade out on this scene as
Mooklem and Sully from across the room
are overlooking all of this
happening but more talking about
what they've already discussed with Bahamut
this shindig like Bahamut's
gonna come and tell us all what we gotta do
right? I think
so
we know him better than any of us
is there gonna be like a big flashy entrance
or is it more of like a subdued thing
or is he just gonna like appear in the room?
I mean I don't even know
he might kinda want us to
he might want someone else to take the lead
he's sort of like you know I've always told you like
a pretty chill guy but you know
he talked to us about
there's a few gods
still left alive so we have like a pretty
serious number of things we need to get
sorted out and teams to
assemble to send to do various tasks
and
remember like he just
oh yeah
for sure
teams assemble them and then
some of them are gonna go
to
places
and talk to people
gods
to save gods
and some are gonna
have to
a fog begins to roll
in from the front of the chamber
and lights
begin to go and then you hear
from the cat
but where'd the lighter fluid come from
Michael?
I was gonna say
does Bob come in with a knife
in his mouth?
That song continues
as Opal runs up to the front
and you see his long mullet waving
and he's got a knife in his mouth
and then from behind him you see another
silhouetted figure come out and just
put his hand on his shoulder
and
sits him down and the music
stops and the fog
disperses. Nighthunter looks at Elia and goes
I did not know that could be done
this man truly is a
god. And Bahamut walks
out into the chamber
followed by Leosin
and they come
before all of you. Did I forget
anybody in this room? No, that's the three
main teams.
I think so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Flint's the
only one who's still Flammatoes. Flammakins maybe?
Yeah, I was gonna say Flammakins around somewhere.
Is she watching Flint?
Is she hanging out with
Mook, Glim, and Sully? Cause if she
is, I wanna lean over and say to
her, I nudge Flammakins
and I say that first guy had some
sick flow. Right? Yeah,
I was about to get up, you know, do a little dance,
you know, join in the party and
we'll see how things take us.
What do you think, dark one?
You talking
to me? No, the guy
with a little bit of wispies around
the eyes there. I mean, you know what I'm saying?
This one. Mook. Mook?
Dark guy?
I hadn't really noticed
is it? What's wrong with your
eyes? I'm looking at your belly button
all the time, I have no fucking clue what's going on up there.
Okay, you guys, shh, okay,
Bahama's here and he needs to...
Sorry, Glim.
Hot piece of god up there coming in.
Damn, have you never been part
of a counter before?
Several times, I'm usually asked to leave.
I don't see why.
Bahama clears his throat and steps
forward and says, thank
you all for coming.
Alright, alright, alright.
I was like,
where is the McConaughey?
Next Bahama's speech is going to be
about how he was his own biggest
competition.
This is a big one.
Bahama!
Thank you, thank you. Oh my god, Glim, it's so
embarrassing.
You just shushed us.
Okay, I'm sorry, I got excited.
Who here is enjoying
life?
It's kind of a complicated question.
Yeah.
Things are shitty right now. We're happier here.
Right now things are good.
But mostly
they're all so bad.
Yeah, the world kind of sucks right now.
Got sweet jams though.
Wasn't quite sure how to open this
so I thought just a question to the room would
probably be a better way.
Because what we're going to talk about
is a little heavier than
whatever it was
the cat was doing and
being called
a hot piece of god.
He heard you. Yeah, damn straights
he heard me. God's got good
fucking hearing.
It shows he listens too.
Really, that's what you want in a partner.
Is Flamikins just going to hook up with Bahama?
Maybe. She's just going to try.
I mean, what hasn't she tried to
fuck?
Finally someone on her level.
Right? This is like climbing
that mountain.
Does anyone else ever get the feeling
right now that he's never talked
to a group of people before ever?
I haven't. Not this large
anyways. I usually just kind of
mill about and
drink my drinks and
my birds follow me and
presentations and public speaking
isn't really high
on my list.
Fair enough. I'm in the wrong business though.
Yeah.
The goal we want to achieve
is to prevent the extinction
of the realms.
I mean, that seems like a pretty good goal.
Decisions
need to be made and destinations
picked as well as
teams
which the way
we're seated like
we're in middle school
with one of you on one side and the
other of you on the other side
might be already
decided but
we'll wait and see.
Is he saying that
we don't work well with others?
Well, I mean you did kind of
yell at the other
team there but you kind of
weren't
exactly super welcoming.
There has been just a little bit of tension.
Glim was up in my business
for Matt. We're not talking about this again.
It's over.
It's over. I've let it go. It's fine.
Just saying. Like I can fight
alongside her.
If I had to.
If there were no other options.
We're in a pickle.
Information has been
bestowed upon me by some of you.
I've talked with Glim
about this and Leosin
at length who
fills out the paperwork.
Like elbows Glim in the ribs like
he said your name.
And what I can share is generalities.
And I hope that you can
appreciate
that those generalities
are for
are to
hope for the best
outcome.
When two become one?
I need someone
I could never need
in love before.
Who's gonna make love to him baby?
That'll be the song playing.
Thea raises her hand.
By generalities
and you're talking about
teams.
I'm kind of a meat and potatoes
kind of person.
So the realms are going to become
extinct.
Did I catch that part right?
That was quite a jarring piece of information.
I know things are really shitty right now.
But using the word extinct is quite
extreme.
What would you describe it as?
I don't know.
Really shitty.
Because not everything is dead
yet and maybe it won't be.
Maybe.
But now that I'm saying it out loud
once everything does become dead
that is the definition of extinct.
As Orcus gains more power.
He's gonna go for other
realms.
He's already
superseded my power.
Well I withdraw my question.
The defense rests.
I think I've proved
my point.
That's me raising my hand going
I think I have something important to say.
Never mind.
This is just Amy.
This is how I'm living my life.
Glim is also going to put up her hand.
Everything's terrible.
I agree.
Everything's totally shitty.
What do we do?
What's the next thing that we need to do
to save the world?
Because you're back now.
We need a list.
Task oriented.
Exactly. I think we're all on the same page.
Yeah.
It's totally shitty. I'm totally with you.
But what is our
next step? How do we stop
Orcus? Go.
He pauses.
There are two locations
and events
that need to occur.
At
similar
but slightly different points in time.
I see you put your hand back up.
Yeah. Telgir puts his hand up too.
Yenbul also.
The group on
my right.
Time?
You said time?
Different points in time.
I feel that. We did that.
Yenbul.
10 out of 10 would never
want to fuck with time again.
One star Yelp review on that one.
Would not like.
We lost a lot of time
and a lot of really bad things happened
in that time.
Are we going back in time?
Are we going to kill Orcus when he's a baby?
Good question.
Yeah.
Are gods babies?
We went unexpectedly forward in time.
Everything was shitty.
Can you send us
back to that pyramid?
Could I save
Calumport?
There's a greater discussion
around that. But perhaps
we would be sending
you back in time.
I believe you had told me
that some of the people were
briefed on what could
happen with the Soulbridge gem.
Yes.
Remember the
second team who you met
here?
They went on
the mission to get the artifact
that could, with the power
of a god, propel
hell to space and time.
We haven't exactly had time to talk about
what happened.
We haven't sat down for drinks or anything
told our wild tales.
That's what we're talking about now.
I do think I need a drink though.
This is some heavy shit right here.
Need a drink? I can get you a drink.
I need a job. I need a task. I can go get a drink.
You know what? Maybe like a round of drinks.
Drinks for everybody. That's a great idea.
Is there any finger food?
Just like a little tapas?
Like an aperitif of sorts?
Okay, I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll come back with a song too.
It'll be great. Oh, I don't know.
He's gone. I mean, with his last entrance
being so impressive, I can't wait to see the song
that's for the snacks and drinks.
Elia, are you seeing how people get rid of him
so easy?
It's incredible. Just someone says drinks
and then we say, oh, go get drinks, and then he goes
and gets drinks and snacks. I guess maybe
we haven't been trusting him enough
to... Small jobs.
Small jobs.
I'm writing this down.
I feel like we're learning a lot here.
Absolutely.
Also, maybe time travel?
Yeah, what the hell?
The points in time
and locations
are clearer than who has to go
to them. Oh, so
we don't necessarily have to go
back in time. Well,
who else
would go? I'm not saying I won't go.
I just want to know
where, when?
When where?
Then and
there and
how many times?
Yeah. Hopefully
only once. Well, hold on a second.
Sorry. Sullivan's
light here.
Uncharacteristically very
quiet up until
this point. Yes, Sully, you had a
brief period
wanting to be a cleric.
Is that so? Well,
I mean, we all have
a...
That's not the point.
You said only one time.
Does this mean, like, is this a
one way vacation?
That's a really good question. That's a really
good question. Is this like
like you go and come back
and that's one, like when you're doing laps
at the pool? Great question, Sully.
Great question. Like, yeah.
Is a one and then we're like back
there and then that's just like
where we are now or like
just a quick dip back, do a
thing. And then we come back and the world
is fixed? Yes. That'd be cool.
But also if we go back, then
do we live there or does that
mean we're in two places at the same time
and one of us dissolves or disappears or something?
And what if we go back and then
we see the us that was in
the past and then... Are we
gonna have to fight ourselves?
What if... What if
we die
in the past?
Our future
self? What...
You're thinking of dreams.
Oh, right. If you die in your...
I gotta sit
down. Sit, sit, sit, sit.
Time
is
fluid.
But getting you there...
Let me put
it this way.
Some of you have
already come to see me.
In
the past?
Before Celestia fell,
some of you warned
me that
this was happening.
Well, if some people have already
done that, then how
are we in this predicament?
It does not seem like the
warning did anything.
The warning wasn't
led with
the second part of what
some of you have to
do. Well, I think it
may be pretty simple
to decide who goes, who
warn you, and that those
people will be the ones who go back.
Or they won't because they didn't do it right
because now we're in this point.
This time-jumping
stuff is sort of beyond my
brain capacity a little bit.
Yeah, I think I can speak for everyone when I say
the comatose guy leaning
against me is the least confusing part of this whole
thing. He's still breathing, right?
Oh, there it is.
Alright, we're in the middle. We were
on a time limit here because Tom
told somebody that we're...
He's got appointments after this or something,
so we've got to get in, we've got to get out.
Appointment to watch Venon let there be sex.
I haven't seen it yet,
but that is an important
appointment. What are you even doing here?
He's trying to leave. Let's just
all think about how we're in the
darkest timeline now, and that's where
we live, and it's great.
Everyone loves it. It's
so fun.
Woody Harrelson is there for some
reason, but it's okay.
Okay, he's not here. Maybe
we could get... Okay, big petition
on Twitter. Get Woody
Harrelson on our show.
He seems like a treat. He does seem fun.
You think he could lighten up the
darkest timeline? Well,
he might play a bad
guy who just is a little bit
like it's okay to be here.
You know, like Kyle does.
But then Kyle
leans in and, you know, tries to
kill people. Maybe Woody Harrelson
would have somebody else do it so that you can still
disassociate Woody Harrelson from the
darkest timeline. Okay.
Seems overly complicated, but I'm into it.
Welcome to
Dumbgeons and Dragons. Overly
complicated, but we're into it.
Wow.
Nailed it. If you want to have your say in which
celebrities
we stalk on Twitter,
come over to Patreon.
Patreon.com
slash Dumb Dragoncast, where when you join
our $15 tier, the in-world tier,
you can give us
NPC names
and items, and we're
still trying to work through those. It's hard to work
through those a little bit when you've destroyed
everything in the world.
But sometimes one of those just pops
up in the rubble, and that's okay.
It's coming.
It's coming. I promise.
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
You can do that, and we'd love to have you over there.
There's a whole bunch of other great stuff, like bonus content
that we play a whole other game. Did you know that?
And a new thing, because we have book club now.
Oh yeah, book club.
Yeah, we have book clubs. We're going to do that
quarterly. Our first book club
meeting is at the end of this month.
We read Realm Breaker
by Victoria Aviard.
I believe that's her name.
I haven't finished yet, so I don't need
to have that memorized yet.
But that's going to be really fun.
January 30th.
We just are going to kick it
and talk about a book and do that every quarter.
So maybe you're a big nerd like
me, and you like to talk about books.
And we'd love to see you there. And the people in
the book club are going to help pick the book for
the next time, too. So there's
contributions happening over there.
Love it.
So come join us for
In World NPCs, Items,
Book Club, and maybe Woody Harrelson.
Maybe. I mean, anything is
possible.
Setting the bar real high.
A little disclaimer at the end here.
Do not guarantee Woody Harrelson will be there.
Please don't hold us to it.
This is nothing in writing. You can't prove it was us.
Okay, thanks everybody. Bye now.
Bye.
The last time
some of you came to see me
it was to
warn me that
Orcus was rising.
In hopes that I could get enough of the
gods together and stop
him.
However, what we didn't know
at the time was
that most
of the gods that Orcus
silenced were
already silenced by the time he came
to Celestia.
So the warning was
too late.
Yes. So they just have to
go back further?
Or
and more likely
send two teams back.
One to warn me
at around
the time when Orcus
is silencing gods
across the realms.
Is the other team
gonna kill him?
The other team is meant
to go to the abyss
before Orcus rises
and stop him. So when he's a baby
I felt like that was maybe a little bit
sort of a joke earlier
but maybe what you're saying is like
Orcus won't be a baby.
Oh.
So we've got a messenger
team and a suicide
squad.
It really seems like, I'm sorry to say it so bluntly
but let's face it, how many
are there of us here?
Half of us are going to go and fight Orcus
at his
weakest?
In his house.
On turf.
It's the only place
he can die.
Question.
I think we also need someone
to stay here in
Brightcliffs, don't we?
It's
we can't, this is
from everything you've said, this is the last
non-extinct place.
So.
Someone has to look after Flint.
That is another
point of contention which we
will get to, Thea.
Although I can't tell you who goes
where, I can tell you
that Flint plays a role.
You mean
he's going to wake up?
That is our hope and we
will discuss that
because there is a decision
that needs to be made
which could be a hard one.
Harder than choosing to
go fight Orcus?
Yes. Sounds like we
have many tough choices
to make.
Go warn a god,
go to the abyss, this is
many tough choices.
I don't really like to take
a lot of personal responsibility.
Just really putting myself plainly out
there for everybody. I'm thinking
names in a hat.
You want to decide the destiny of the realms
with names in a hat.
Listen, this is just the way to get the ball rolling.
You pull names from the hat, you see the groups
and then you go, oh well all of our powerhouses
are over on this side, oh man
all the magic users are on this side.
And then you end up shuffling them around and
eventually making the decision anyway which
has now been ruined because I've explained it.
It was all supposed to happen organically.
Also, Thea,
you should remember you are
the one that doesn't like somebody else
here so names in a hat might be.
Oh, really?
No one else can hear me.
No other people can hear you.
Only Bahamut.
Bahamut can hear you.
I do kind of care about his opinion of me.
Oh my god!
She's right there!
How big do you think this room is?
I'm sure she's got
amazing dragonborn hearing.
The teams are not just
the people in this room.
But to sum up,
the first option is to go
back to Celestia.
To warn
me,
my dragons,
and anybody else we can
before Orcus's forces are strong
enough to overtake
Celestia and
me.
The second is to
infiltrate or
the second is to go on
an infiltrate or
seek and destroy mission.
Because this one has not
been described or even told
to me that it has ever happened,
I don't know what to expect.
How much he will have
at the time that we're able to
send you back?
Is there a certain point
that we're able to go to?
How do you determine where we're able to go?
The Soul Bridge gem
is able to send you back
maybe at most a year
before
everything goes completely sour.
You said it was already in the process
of getting there though?
If I understand correctly?
He's already building
power and silencing people?
And if we were out for 10 years
and we can only go back a year
things have still been really shitty, right?
Well we can go back
do I misunderstand you can
go back more than
a year from now but
only a year
before
into Orcus's rise to
power? Yes.
It's a very specific stone.
It only possesses so much power.
If it's overloaded
there's no telling where you go back to.
There's even risk in using it at all.
What kind of risks?
You don't want to get splinched.
What the fuck is
splinched? That's a Harry Potter reference.
You know, it's when you apparate
but you only apparate part of your body
and the other half is just laying around.
Jesus, that sounds horrible.
Splinching is possible.
Forcing so much power
through
mortal beings
can have adverse side effects.
Nausea, indigestion,
upset stomach. I was going to say like premature
balding, what are we talking about here?
Anal leakage. Gum recession.
Sounds like one of
the Moot's buffet trips.
Oh
God. Well I mean sometimes they're not
the best places. This episode's
named is some symptoms
of time travel may include
da da da.
He's writing it down.
I haven't named an episode
in years.
Look at me go. Funnel tunnels?
Funnel tunnels.
The who's are
the people in this room?
Moot, Glamin, Sully,
Thea, Yenbul,
Tullgear,
Grancis,
Flamikins,
Elia, Nighthunter,
and Opal, you're an unknown.
I was going to say,
I do feel a little outside of
what is going on here.
As Elia has stated,
if you wish to stay
in hopes
that the tides
can turn here,
it would be
for you to decide.
Well, this is
where we've made our home. We can't just
abandon this place.
Yes, but at the same time,
when is going to be next time we can fight
God, right?
Oh,
well, you're right.
Well, I hadn't thought about it that way.
It has been a while since we've really
had
an adventure like that.
Corpse Grinder is just
sitting on wall like
decoration.
It is a shame,
isn't it?
But we should discuss privately, not here.
I really like the kind of
that one's gib.
They give a nod.
Warrior sees warrior.
Others who could be of assistance
that exists within this
timeline.
There are
two that I feel within
Orcus's inner circle who
are said
could be swayed.
Two in his inner circle?
His right and left hand.
Well, if we get rid of those,
he doesn't have a chance in hell, does he?
He wouldn't have any
hands
He would be fighting.
He could just headbutt.
Yeah.
Bottom chish.
Sometimes I crack wise.
This is very uncomfortable
for me. Who
is there? Okay.
Would that be
a third party?
Or would that be the same
people who are going to go fight
Orcus? Maybe
they go and try
to sway these
right and left hands first
and if it doesn't work, fight Orcus?
And then just quick question.
How do you convince
two super
evil beings that maybe being
evil isn't like the best?
Even though I
hate to say it, you know that I hate to say it,
but they've been really successful so far.
Yeah, like when you see in results
like that, I mean it's kind of hard to turn
it around. I think like
five minutes alone with Glim, she might
be able to convert them. I mean
what are their stand, like
who are they?
Are they into fitness?
Or could they like be
motivated? Like I have a lot
of sort of tools to tell
people about Bahamut. They got a little
rusty for a while there, but I'm like
pretty good at spreading the good
word, so like I could just get right in
there and maybe like throw together a Zumba
or... Yeah, do you know who
these people are?
I feel like Thea
knows who these people
are. Yen Bull, I believe you have met
them too.
I feel like all eyes just went
whew.
Um, I don't run
with that kind of crowd. I...
Who?
It's not Flint, is it? No, it's not Flint.
Um...
From the tower?
From the pyramid, where we...
Is that who you mean?
Yes.
So...
So she's really moved up?
Then has she?
Really?
Over the last ten years, she has
made her...
Her place known.
Bitch has climbed that corporate
ladder? However, I've
come to find that
one of them has had
their memory
rearranged.
And that might work
to your benefit. How exactly
does someone rearrange memory?
No. Yeah, good question. How do you like
rearrange someone's memory and
like, was it on purpose? Cause if
it was, they didn't do a very good job cause that guy's still
evil. Or gal?
Well, I think the intent
was to create
an evil being.
Okay.
Uh, so these people
are friends of yours? No, not
friends of mine. Well,
one pretty much owes
me her life, named Lipsinki.
And that
red-haired
pigtail pixie
person,
we like, saved her from
this zombie town
or something and
I mean...
Then there was this portal
and Vorunax,
who's just this complete orcish
asshole.
He got to her
before we could and he pulled her into this portal
and I assume that she ended up
in one of the hells and
then the next time we see her,
ooh, evil Lipsinki.
So you're thinking
that there's still a part of her
that's like, good?
I mean, that's
the only thing that makes sense. Vorunax
has never been good.
Lipsinki had
been devoting her life to
she could hear voices
and try
to help them.
If we're gonna flip someone,
I think it's gonna be her.
Well, when
we met them in the pyramid,
they worked with us.
I mean, that's true. Vorunax
wasn't
completely...
He's still a total dick.
Well, yeah.
Love you, Kyle.
But...
If my enemy is my friend,
we teamed up with them, so maybe...
I think it's possible.
It's possible.
Isn't it?
Now I'm dreaming, guys. What if we get both of them?
Okay, one thing at a time.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
So, yeah, that's just...
Everyone is now...
That's what's happening.
So, if we're gonna go...
So, we have to, like, portal
jump to where Thea's friends are
to try and convince them to come and help us?
Or...
Because we wouldn't use the stone for that,
right? Because that's, like, same time,
not, like, backwards
in time. That's, like, now.
Sure, I just want to, like, just jump in.
Not my friends.
No, not my friends.
Past friends.
Lipsinki, like...
So, like, really just the one was a friend, briefly?
Yes, and very briefly.
I mean, could have really been something, though.
Could have really been something.
Okay, so, universally, we all agree
that Vorunax...
sucks.
Total asshole.
But, yeah,
the question remains. Not a time
jump, just a location jump.
Yes, both are just in this time.
Sorry for all the questions, but...
That's what we're here for.
Do we do the things that we need to do
now and then go back
and do the things that we needed to do
then? Or do we go
do the things that we needed to do then
and then... I'm a little bit...
Well, I think that's where we have
several teams going. Some
are doing the things that need to happen
then, at the same
time as people who are
going ahead and doing
the things that have to happen
now. And wouldn't we be better
served to try to get to this left and
right hand back then rather
than now? Or is there
only so much juice to, like,
get us to the
two... just
as far as we can go in those two
places?
I feel like your best success
will be to
try to sway
those closest to
Orcus in the now.
They are
more powerful
now than they were then.
They have more
information
about what you could find
and where you could find it
than they would then.
Lipsynche
might not
even be there
then, if she is the one
who is to be swayed.
Yeah, that's
a good point. I was thinking the same
thing. I just didn't want to say it out loud.
Um... You read
page 47 then. Oh, was there a book?
I'd love to take a look at this book.
It's at the bottom of a river going from
one village to another
in the... near the city
of Deremar, I do believe.
Well, I probably can't get that book then.
Probably not.
Alright, so we make our dream
teams, right?
Now,
others you'll want to persuade
include the
Goliath out there
working hard to train the
Tabaxi, and we cut
to a scene outside where a goth
is trying to
be rigorous in
military training of
all of these lazy ass
fucking Tabaxi out there, and they're all
just laying in the sand.
Licking their privates. Licking their privates.
And she is just throwing her arms
and weapons into
the sand and storming off.
That cat never came
back without drinks. Yes, I thought there
was going to be snacks.
What would you do if
I sang out a tune?
Would you turn out and walk
out on me? Depends if I paid for
tickets. I mean, not
as fun of a vibe as his other entrance.
I get by with a little help
from my friends. I mean,
it's on point though. I mean, we're trying to all get
together, the thing.
Rolling high with a little help from my
friends. Would you need
anybody?
Oh my god, Elia, his
hands, they are empty. He has not
even brought anything back. He just came back singing
a song. Oh, Opal?
It sounds so
great. I think I maybe heard
you doing some scales outside,
some warm-ups, but maybe you could
remember you were going to get some drinks for everybody?
I was getting drinks?
I mean, I got distracted by
a goth
out there training.
Very good trainer.
But then I remembered I had to sing everybody a song,
a pump-up song, and
I'll get drinks.
That was a pump-up song he chose? Yes, it was
a strange choice.
One of his famous down-tempo pump-up songs.
I like something with a
bit more beat. You couldn't do
much of that. Oh my god, no.
He'd be so slow.
I don't even know. You could maybe do
some really slow, weird
pull-ups that would be
impressive because they were really
slow, but not motivating.
Not like,
let's go kill
the guys destroying the world.
I'm so pumped.
Wasn't really that.
Perhaps the final person
is the one
that you and I
will likely have to discuss
soon is your friend
Flint. Oh, right.
I thought for a second you were going to say Grancis, and I was like,
right, yeah. I've already said Grancis.
Should we put him down?
Grancis is rejuvenating
and is being
kept in this state to
regain as much power as he can.
The fact that you've moved
him and have tied strings to his
hands is something that Leosin
has told me was not approved.
Talk here. I mean, I just did what you asked.
We thought he would want to be at the meeting.
He can still hear, right?
He hates being discluded.
Once I ate pancakes
in a town
without him before I knew him,
and he was mad about it. We fade
out on this conversation to the medical tent.
Just next door.
And we see Donnie
in a wiping
Flint's brow with
his wings.
Slapping him in the face then.
Slapping him in the face. It's cool.
It's a cooling sensation.
Just keeping the
circulation.
The cool dream sequence music
that I use every time we flit into
a dream sequence is playing right now.
This is just the transition.
We're in a dream.
So, you know any gods?
I mean,
not really personally.
I know of them. I mean, the fact that Father
Murin, as polite
and lovely as a fellow as he is,
the fact that he said he needs someone close
to a god leads me to believe that maybe he's
not as close to his god
as others might think.
Yeah, yeah. No, I got that
impression too. Usually when
someone says they need
outside help, that means they're not up for the job.
Yeah, yeah. Cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool. What about you? Do you know any gods?
Oh, yeah. I pissed off
many a god back in Chult.
So, I know them.
Okay.
Any of them wanting to do you any favors?
No.
Okay. I kind of figured that was the answer, but
I thought I'd better ask. Yeah, no, I had to think about it.
You know, don't look past the obvious
solutions because they might be the right ones.
Yeah, well, when you...
When you steal a lot of things from
them, they get kind of...
Maybe they would want
to do it just to get... If this is
some sort of realm that we're trapped
in, maybe they would want to do it just to get
me out of that realm.
And the ground begins to
shake. You're feeling this too?
The shaking ground? Yeah.
Does it happen
in the under?
I mean, not usually. Is that where we are? In the under? Yeah.
Under town?
Okay.
Well, maybe we should check it out.
The two of you head out the
front entryway
and see
the buildings
of
Mithril Hall
swaying
with this movement
in the ground
and rocks beginning to fall from
the ceiling and people running and screaming
and Flint, as you
watch this scene,
it flashes
in your eyes
from
physical buildings crumbling
to
blips of
what looks like
ethereal static.
That shake
in and out.
Well, it's never done
that before. You've seen that too then, huh?
Yeah.
The ground begins to
crack
down the center of this street
that leads up to the temple.
And it's splitting
wide open directly between
Bort and Flint
tearing up towards
the temple and as it reaches
it, it blows the two of you apart
and to the ground and the temple
crumbles to the ground.
Music
Music
Music
Dumbgeons and Dragons
Season 2, Episode 108
Starring Amy More as Thea Amastasia
and Sullivan Sleight
Carla Maxted as Yimble Nury and Glim
Tom Laird as Tulkier Heavyfoot
Flint Firebeard and Mute
and Russ More as your Dungeon Master
Editing, Production and Sound Design
by Russ More
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound
Boom Library and Sound Ideas
A huge thank you to our supporting producers
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok
Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown
Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss
Aaron Stevens, Darylith, Lulahan
and L.A. Branton
To support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other
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Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
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at dumbdragoncast. Thank you for listening
Have a great week, we'll talk again soon
Alright, we've got a work in guest
Tom, what is this?
Whose fault is that Russ?
Tom
That guy
Okay
Why would Leosan be following Bob?
Cause they came out of the same tent
He said Min
He's kind of always
He's doing the paperwork for Bob
That makes sense
Leosan's always in the mix
They have more important things to do than
be bogged down with paperwork
Don't need the minutia, the red tape
Leosan's kind of a god of paperwork
so it's like they are sort of
equals in a way
Yes, there we go
Asked and answered, thank you
The points in time
Alright, alright, alright
Gotta get back there
The points in time
Sorry
You said the points in time
Alright, alright, alright
That's correct, yes
With the same inflection
I know, everything was perfect
It was like he cut and paste the first one
How exactly does someone
rearrange memory?
You have dogs sing it
The bloops on this
The bloops on this episode
The bloops on this episode
Amy's in fine form
Am I drinking? I'm not
Silence
It took me half a beat to process it
That is how I like
my jokes to land
with utter silence
That's what I
aim for
And Flint and Bort
You are
at the chapel
and have just been told by Father
We're gonna get married
We're gonna get married
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production